It’s 4:15 AM.
The elevator door opens and I find two bodies on the floor. George kicks a man on the foot as he clicks on his radio, “Base come in base. Two guests asleep on floor. One man. One woman. Over.”
The man is out cold. I kneel down and attempt to wake the strawberry blonde, but she just grunts as her hand twitches knocking over a jar of party mix. We follow the trail of potato chips, pretzel sticks, and Chex cereal to room 1611. The music is almost as loud as the screaming and George does not hesitate to bang on the door to match them. “Security! Security!” Nobody answers.
I grab my radio, “Billy Blue come in. Call room 1611. Over.”
Behind the music, the screaming, and George’s fists on door, we hear the telephone gasping for breath. The music slowly lowers down and we hear voices laughing behind the ringing and banging on the door.
“Hello?….No we are not having a party up here.”
“Security!” George yells and pounds dents on the door.
It opens and out spills waves of smoke down the hall and then a naked woman slides through the opening. Holding the door open with one hand and her breasts with the other she giggles, ”Can I help you Officer?”
I hand her an envelope and ask out of formality, “Are you the registered guest to room Ma’am?”
Her eyes glazed in crops of red she still giggling, “Only if you want me to be.”
George shakes his head and reaches his arm behind her, pushing the door wide open. The hallway lights flood the room, I see bodies run like vampires from the sun. My forehead tense I speak, “This is your noise complaint letter stating that room charges of neighboring guests will be charged to you room. Also your room is beyond capacity. There is not to be more than four guest in this suite. Your additional guests are to vacate the hotel, now.”
She snaps spit bubbles on my face, “Are you fucking serious?! Do you know who I am?”
Wipe my chin, I look back into her blood shot eyes, “Yes, I do. Your name is write here on the letter Ma’am. And also there are two intoxicated people in the hallway that we believe belong to your party.”
She steps into the hallway and looks down the corridor. “That’s ridiculous! We don’t know them!”
I uncover my left hand and show her a fist full of chips. “We followed the trail mix Ma’am. It led straight to your room.”
She bursts out laughing and reaches for my shoulder as I stand trying to dodge her bouncing breasts. I hold her shoulder and keep her at a distance as George slips through the door and steps in the room and turns on the light switch.
There are naked men and women huddled in corners. A couple is still on the bed having sex, the woman on top of the man just smiles unfazed. Two men walk out of the bathroom holding hands, their eyes widen as they see me and George. There hands covering themselves, missing to hide their faces smeared with white powder. A purple vibrator dances on the counter top, rattling against bottles of Champagne, glasses full of cigarettes, and an unopened basket of fruit. George holds a bag of cocaine with his two fingers and dangles it in front of the naked laughing brunette. “Do you want me to call the police?”
She stops laughing, lets go my arms, and grabs the bag of cocaine. “Ok. I’m sorry. Party’s over. Everybody out!”
I stop an Asian woman at the doorway, “You’re going to have to put your clothes back on first.”
It’s 4:30 AM.
The elevator reaches the lobby and out spills the group of vagabonds, beatniks, and hipsters. I see Billy Blue at the front desk stapling paper work as he watches a blonde adjust her exposed breast and reinserts into her tight pink dress.
A black Lincoln Navigator rolls into the loading zone and my night bellman holds the door as the fifteen people load into the SUV. He laughs to himself holding his smile, sneaking a handful of something into his pocket.
George pulls out a handkerchief and wipes his forehead, “I go write the report. Call me on the radio if you need me.”
“Copy that. Thank you, George!”
Billy yells from the desk, “Hey, Boss what the fuck happened up there?”
I just shake my head as I walk toward him and Mike Masters is already leaning on the marble slab, “We get there and the woman answers the door naked! George opens the door and it’s a fucking orgy. Coke, dildos, and champagne everywhere it was nuts!”
Mike laughs, “Dude, that hipster kid, tipped me a fat sack! This is awesome!”
“Mike, that’s something you should not tell me. I don’t want to know about it.”
Billy’s blushing, “Yeah man, that blonde with her boobs out in the lobby! Yeah man!”
“Well party’s over guys!” I look through the piles of reports that Billy Blue has spread through out the desk. “Good work Billy. Do we have any walk up calls?”
“Not till 5:30AM.”
I start walking towards the elevator and then turn around, “Good. Help out Mike with the newspapers. I’m going to walk the floor and make sure no one’s straggling around. Radio me if you guys need me.”
Billy Blue gives me a thumbs up, “You got it boss!”
I step in the elevator and hit the close button and call Dark Mark, “Get the camera ready and meet me in room 1611. Now!”
It’s 4:45 AM.
The door is ajar with the dead bolt engaged, I slowly push the door as Dark Mark, Angel, and Tahlia walk through. I enter and then quickly close the door the behind us and switch the lock and set the security latch. As I turn around I see Angel and Dark Mark scouring the room, kicking bottles aside and rattling vials of cocaine. “Don’t touch anything. We just need some footage. Angel you want to improv scene 35?”
Angel lights a cigarette, “Sure.”
Dark Mark slings the Red Camera on his shoulder, “Tahlia, can you adjust the light a bit? The lines of cocaine aren’t reading.”
Tahlia plays with the light switches as I hold her boom. Flashbacks of all the naked people half an hour ago pop on and off like christmas lights in my brain. I shake my head and open my eyes as I smell pot and see Angel smoking a joint by the kitchenette. I hit him with the boom, “Dude, don’t smoke that shit! Do you want to get fucking herpes?!”
He throws the brown cigar in the sink, “Fine!”
Tahlia taps my shoulder and I turn to her, “My boom is not a weapon Alfie!” She rips it off my hand and retrieves the rest of her sound equipment.
Dark Mark is giggling as he pans through the suite, “I’ve never seen this much condoms and lube since the gay pride parade!”
“That’s fucking gross!” Angel yells as he slides the balcony door open and lights another cigarette.
Dark Mark holds the camera towards my face, holding a pair of high heel shoes, “Can I keep them?”
I turn him to face away, “I’m pretty sure they’re not you’re size.”
“But they’re pretty. And they’re real. And I can sell them on Ebay!” He keeps giggling, until I take the shoes away from him. He droops his lips and makes me hand them back, “Ok, I’m serious now. What do you want to shoot?”
“Start with me and Angel as security walking through the door. We walk through the living room, the kitchen, the balcony, and then the bathroom.”
Dark Mark adjusts the camera and starts walking around the room. “Let’s start with a medium shot of you two through the door. We’ll cut. Turn around and I’ll follow you both there until you reach the bathroom. Then another turn around. Cool?”
Angel flicks his cigarette off the balcony and steps into the room, “Cool.”
I hold the door open and let Dark Mark and Tahlia get through as I take my position by the door way as we wait for Angel. He switches the dead bolt and preps the door to a close.
Tahlia, “Sound Speed.”
Taking my iPhone out my pocket, I slate the camera.
It’s 5:00 AM.
I turn the door knob and open the bathroom door and switch on the lights. Holding the door wide open, I see Dark Mark and Tahlia’s reflection on the mirror. I step back and close the door behind me, “Turn off the fucking camera! We got to go! Now!”
Angel brushes through me and opens door, “Oh, Shit! A dead hooker!”